Under The Stars
by The Last Letter
Summary: Five years later, Connor is living in a dream. He has Jude, their dog, and the supportive family and friends that he's always longed for. And now, Connor has an engagement ring on his finger and a wedding to plan. It seems like everything is coming together for the young couple, until a ghost from the past comes to the front door. Is there still a happy ending for the two of them?
1. More Than This

**Merry Christmas to the most patient friend in the world! I told you I wouldn't break this promise!**

 **This story is a sequel to** _ **Barefoot And Bruised**_ **, which I highly recommend reading before delving into this story! Happy reading!**

 **~TLL~**

Their alarm went off at six-thirty, just like it did every morning. Jude groaned and slammed his hand down it. Connor opened his arms without opening his eyes, knowing how Jude would settle his body into Connor's hold, clinging to the moments his snooze afforded to him. Connor kissed Jude's forehead.

"How'd you sleep, baby?"

"It was good."

Jude reached down under the blankets, finding Connor's left hand, drawing it up between them. Connor finally opened his eyes, watching Jude's thumb spin the band on Connor's ring finger.

"You don't regret asking, do you?" Connor asked, unsure of how genuine his question really was.

He wasn't surprised when Jude shook his head.

"I can't believe I did it after spending months thinking about it. I think I'm still just surprised you said yes."

"Of course I did."

Jude twisted in his arms to hit the second snooze and Connor heard Hades' tags jingle as he stretched. Jude yawned and hid his face under the blankets.

"Weekends are too short."

"You say that _every_ Monday morning," Connor said.

"Yeah, well, I mean it. What are you doing today?"

"State manager is coming in Wednesday so I'm going into the office then instead. Hades and I will probably meet with Ali and Feldman at the park today."

Hades let out a yip at the sound of his best friend's name and then Connor heard his nails clicking across the floor. His big head peeked over the edge of the bed. He caught Connor looking at him and put two paws up on the bed though he didn't actually jump up until Connor gestured for him to. He splayed his body across their feet, making himself comfortable.

"I also need to go grocery shopping. What do you want for dinner?"

"Mmm … Pasta something," Jude decided. The last of the snoozes went off and Jude turned the alarm off completely. He stretched out once, slightly dislodging Hades. "Okay, time to shower."

When Jude got up, so did Connor. He knew he didn't have to; he did have the day at home, even if a chunk of it had to be dedicated to work. But Connor had never completely broken the habit of getting up early and he hated being in bed while Jude was up.

Hades padded behind him as he went down into the kitchen. He let Hades outside through the back door, leaving it open as he went through his routine of getting the coffee maker started and feeding Hades. As soon as his food hit the bowl, Hades rocketed back into the kitchen.

"You act like we never feed you," Connor teased, patting Hades' side before topping up his water.

Upstairs, Connor heard the shower shut off. He put a muffin in the microwave, thinking that he'd have to make more tomorrow. He started pouring coffee and had their small breakfast on the table by the time he heard Jude coming down the stairs.

"Hey, baby, I had a thought," Jude called.

"Just one?"

Jude laughed, kissing Connor's cheek before taking the seat next to him. "I was thinking about our honeymoon."

"Is that the only part of our wedding you're thinking of?"

"So far," Jude admitting, pulling the top from his muffin. "There's a lot of places to go."

"Somewhere new," Connor said. "It should be somewhere new."

"I couldn't decide if you were going to say that or if you'd say New York."

Connor shook his head. "No. I think of New York as Mom's place. I want somewhere new so I can think of it as our place."

Under the table, Jude's foot nudged his own. "Where do you want to go?"

Connor shrugged, looking at his ring. It was still so new, even though he already felt like it had been there forever.

"I haven't really thought of it. Of anything, really." Embarrassed: that's what he was feeling. Jude was already thinking about their wedding and he just … hadn't. He was still looking at his ring and trying to wrap his head around _engaged_. But that was normal. Jude had just proposed on Saturday. Should they be planning already or was this just Jude's overly romantic side taking over?

"You already picked when you wanted to get married. You started this."

"I guess I did."

Jude grinned and finished his coffee. "Okay, I have to get dressed."

After Jude was gone, Hades sidled up to Connor, his head heavily on Connor's thigh. Connor scratched his ears and finished his breakfast, organizing his day in his mind so he could have dinner ready by seven. When he had the breakfast dishes in the sink, Connor headed upstairs, Hades staying behind in the living room. Jude was just buttoning his work shirt as Connor stepped into the room.

"Just so you know, I'm going to be telling everyone who even looks at me today that we got engaged this weekend."

Connor stepped behind him, straightening the collar on Jude's shirt. "I think I'd be offended if you didn't."

"Everyone needs to know how happy I am." Jude turned around to kiss Connor. "You happy too?"

Connor nodded. Being with Jude always gave him a feeling of contentment, even on his worst days. Days of stress and work and, even all these years later, nightmares. But, moments like this, when the morning was still new and there was nothing to take away from it, Connor could just feel the happiness spilling out of his heart, so strong that it could still leave him breathless.

"Kiss me again before you go, Jude?"

Jude did, his fingers sliding under the t-shirt Connor had worn to bed and Connor itched to do the same to Jude, even though he knew he couldn't rumple Jude's work shirt. He resigned himself to tangling his hand in Jude's hair, resolving that, when Jude got home from work, Connor was going to be the one to take Jude's shirt off.

"Okay," Jude murmured, breaking the kiss, "I have to go."

"Drive safe."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Jude left and Connor started his day alone. He showered and dressed and then dug his laptop and paperwork out of his briefcase, carrying it down to the living room. They had set up an office in the second bedroom but it wasn't Connor's favourite place to work. He only sat there when there was enough paperwork that he needed to spread out. He preferred to sit in the living room. There was a cushy window seat in the large bay window and that had also been the reason that Connor had finally agreed with Jude that this house was _their_ house.

Jude had loved the house the moment they'd spotted it online but Connor had been more reserved. Jude had blamed it mostly on Connor's generally reserved-state about everything. He'd kept asking if it was too soon to buy a house and Jude kept rolling his eyes and asking what the point was of continuing to rent. He was glad that Jude had been ready for this and, at the time, slightly pushy about it, because Jude had been right. This house was their home. He set himself up in the window while Hades curled up on the couch. He worked the morning away and, after he and Hades had lunch, Connor put the dog's harness on him and they headed off to the dog park.

Connor knew the neighbourhood well by now and, though it surprised him, he was even friendly with quite a few of his neighbours. It was far from the isolated life he once though he'd lead and he loved it. Absolutely every part of it.

Ali and Feldman were already at the park when Connor and Hades arrived. The burly woman waved to Connor as he let Hades off the leash. Hades immediately bounded to Feldman, the two sniffing at another intently. Connor was always amused to see them together. Feldman was the runt of a litter of show poodles, born with a deformed leg. Ali and her wife still kept him trimmed and show-ready and, so, Feldman always looked a little too posh to be standing next to Connor's chewed-on Pitbull.

"Hey, Connor!" Ali called and he took the seat on the bench next to her.

Ali was possibly Connor's favourite friend. She was ten years older than he was and he'd met her because she and her wife, Miranda, owned the gym that Connor now attended. They were both body-builders and Ali liked to cook as much as Connor did, so they often made joint dinner at each other's places. Jude's and Connor's was the popular spot in the summer as they had a barbeque and a backyard.

"Hey, Ali."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work today?"

"Wednesday, instead. How was your weekend?"

"We had a Caesar dressing salad because the seal on the bottle broke. Other than that, same old same old. What about you?"

"Jude asked me to marry him."

Saying it to someone who wasn't family made it seem far more real. He was getting married.

"Oh, Connor, congratulations!"

"He took me camping."

 _"Jude_ went camping?"

"That was my reaction too," Connor said with a smile. "But, there was a meteor shower and it was the most perfect moment, actually."

"How fairy tale is your life?" Ali snorted and Connor ducked his head.

He'd never told her about his past. There'd never been a point to reliving it. So, he knew she wouldn't understand the truth if he said: _my life's not the fairy tale, Jude is_. Still, thinking about it made him smile because he knew it was luck that brought him to Jude and they could have completely missed each other. It would have been so easy for them to have missed each other.

"Well, what was your proposal like?" Connor asked.

"Un-romantic, so Miranda always says." Ali reached up, tying her long blonde hair into a ponytail. "We'd been dating for seven … eight years or so. We were at Thanksgiving dinner with my family. We were a little tipsy and a lot all over each other. My sister – Brittany, not Carrie – told us to get a room. Mom said, "oh, they should get married first". So, I looked at Miranda, said, "let's get married". She said yes and I got to tell my mom that engaged was close enough."

"They are definitely different stories," Connor said.

"Yeah, well, if she expected anything different from me, she wouldn't have said yes," Ali reasoned.

Hades padded back over to Connor's side, his head on Connor's knee. Connor reached into his bag, pulling out a tennis ball. He launched it as far as he possibly could across the park. Hades and Feldman tripped over each other trying to go after it. Hades could easily outdistance his friend but it wasn't often that he did. Feldman tripped Hades and got to the ball first bringing it back to Ali. She threw it for the dogs this time and asked what Jude and Connor were doing this weekend.

"We're seeing Jude's parents on Saturday night. Did you want to do something on Sunday?"

"Can't. Miranda's staring her scrapbooking class on Sunday."

" _Scrapbooking_ class?" Connor repeated, launching the soggy ball again.

"Mhm. Have you been into that new shop where the used clothing store used to be?"

Connor knew where she was talking about but he'd never been in. It had only opened up about two weeks ago and Connor hadn't been interested. It looked very arts and crafts centred and neither he nor Jude was the type to care.

"You should stop in. They've got some cute knick-knacks and things. I think Miranda bought about nine different planners."

Planners. Well, that had Connor's attention.

"Maybe we should check it out," Connor mused.

"It's a cute little place. But, anyway, they advertised a scrapbooking class and Miranda decided she was interested in that. I want to know who needs a class for scrapbooking but whatever. She's excited."

Connor nodded, watching Hades do a lap along the fence, just because he could, and then he went to steal his ball back from Feldman. Ali and Connor let the dogs play into the afternoon and then she had to leave to pick up Miranda. Connor and Hades still had some time left before they had to go home and start dinner and so they headed toward the store that Ali had mentioned. Despite the hours of play, Hades was still full of pep, his nose to the ground and his tail wagging as they walked.

They approached the door of the brightly decorated shop and Connor was happy to see a beagle already inside. He was always worried about something happening to Hades when he had to leave him outside – whether it was because someone thought Hades a cute dog or because someone had something against Pitbulls. Hades stuck close to Connor once they were inside. It wasn't a huge store and it wasn't hard to find the wall that he was looking for. Hades laid down as Connor shuffled by the day planners and found the books on wedding planning. They were huge books – bigger than he imagined – and Connor realized that there were a lot more small details to wedding planning than he had been anticipating. They were also flowery, pretty books, and Connor knew it made sense. What engaged couple wouldn't want bright? But it just didn't feel like it fit.

Connor dug around until he found a pastel blue planner with faint white flowers. It seemed more like he and Jude. He bought the planner, stopped by the local produce place, and then he and Hades headed home. When they arrived, Connor rested the planner on the coffee table in the living room and headed for the kitchen. As he went, he opened the windows, letting the spring breeze sweep through the house. He put music on and began to prepare dinner. Hades flopped in the middle of the floor and Connor smiled as he pulled vegetables out of his fridge.

He stood next to the counter, placing his hands on the cool surface and looking down at his hands, just feeling his smile grow.

"We're getting married," he said aloud. "Jude loves me."

It was wonderful to _know_ that for sure; to have it be fact and a part of him. It was what love – real, honest, returned love – was supposed to feel like.

Connor hummed as he pulled out his cutting board, feeling happy as he prepped supper and slid it into the slow-cooker. He had just put the lid on when Hades' head perked up, the way it always did when Jude's car pulled into the garage. It didn't take long for Jude to come in the front door. Connor heard a thud that he _knew_ was Jude leaving his briefcase next to their shoes – a practice Connor was annoyed by, which was probably why Jude did it.

Connor leant against the archway between the living room and kitchen.

"Hey, baby," Jude said, nearly tripping over Hades, who always had to sniff him to make sure he hadn't turned into someone else in the hours they'd been apart.

"How was work?"

Jude blew a raspberry before leaning down to give Hades the belly rub he wanted. "I did tell the universe I'm getting married."

"Really? To who?"

Jude glanced up at Connor and then laughed. "Who else would I marry?"

"I don't know," Connor replied, but the teasing tone had leaked from his voice. He had gotten so used to thinking of he and Jude's as each other's that it was difficult to fathom a world where it was no longer true.

"Me neither," Jude said, and then he pushed himself up. "Come on, Hades. Minimal dog hair on my work clothes."

Hades rolled onto his feet, looking annoyed that Jude had stopped petting him before he was ready.

"Dinner will be another two hours."

"Okay, I – What's that?"

"Oh. Ali mentioned a new store so Hades and I checked it out and found that."

Jude picked up the big book and his grin grew. "We've been engaged two days and you bought a book."

Connor fidgeted, feeling like Jude was on the verge of laughing _at_ him. Jude let out another laugh.

"I love you." Jude left the book on the coffee table so he could wrap his arms tightly around Connor and kiss his temple. "It's great, baby."

"I mean, we don't have to plan right away but if we had an idea or something, we should have it."

Jude kissed him. "I'd marry you tomorrow but I want to make a bigger deal of it than that."

Connor hugged Jude's waist. Jude could have whatever he wanted for the wedding. Connor had never really thought about getting married, not after everything that happened with Leigh. He was glad that Jude had asked, he wanted to move forward with their life and he _knew_ marrying Jude was what he wanted to do. But it was the thrill of thinking about Jude as his husband that was really pre-occupying Connor's thoughts.

Jude kissed the top of his head. "I'm going to change."

Connor let him go bit by bit until he was just holding onto Jude's hand. "You know, this morning, I told myself I'd be the one to take your shirt off when you get home. What do you think?"

Jude smiled and then led Connor up the stairs. Connor shut their bedroom door – Hades had a habit of barging in when he heard sounds. He let go of the door and reached for Jude, sliding the thin black jacket over his shoulders. He knew Jude was laughing at him when he took the time to hang up the shirt.

"Come on, I need attention!" Jude teased.

Connor kept his hands slow as he worked his way down Jude's shirt, though he ached to go fast. "I know I pay enough attention to you."

Jude's hand slid under Connor's shirt. "No such thing as too much attention when it comes to you."

Connor pushed open Jude's shirt, letting it fall from Jude's shoulders to the floor. His hands dropped down to Jude's belt while Connor looked up to Jude's eyes.

"Kiss me," Jude whispered.

And, of course, Connor did.

(-.-)

Jude hid his face down against Connor's shoulder, sliding his arm around Connor's bare waist.

"Don't you dare get up."

"The slow cooker –"

"Won't burn in the next ten minutes."

Jude cuddled Connor close again and then pressed a kiss to his chest. Connor was powerless against the way that Jude curled around him, especially now that it was in the evening, not in the morning, and they had the five extra minutes to give to one another.

"Okay but Hades will have to go out sooner rather than later."

"Don't ruin the mood by talking about dog pee," Jude instructed, his leg sliding across Connor's. "I'll never forgive you."

"Never?" Connor asked, his forehead pressing against Jude's as he cupped his hand around Jude's hips.

"Well, maybe … eventually … I might."

"Can I talk about the dog in general or is that a no too?"

"I suppose you can talk about the dog."

"Are you going to come on our walk with us tonight?"

"Yeah, I'd love to come on your walk tonight."

Jude kissed the tip of his nose and Connor ran his hand down the length of Jude's spine one more time. It was as though Jude could sense that he wasn't going to be able to keep Connor where he was for much longer because he went for Connor's lips, but Connor heard Hades scratching at the door and he sat up. Jude looked annoyed at being dislodged but only for a brief moment and then he was playfully happy again, leaning down to the floor and flicking Connor's clothes up onto the bed at him.

"You go check on dinner, I'll let him out."

Connor took his time to get dressed properly while Jude haphazardly pulled on pants, still getting his t-shirt over his head as he opened the bedroom door. Hades burst into the room and jumped up on the bed, sniffing intently until Jude called for him. Then, Hades barrelled off the bed and Connor smiled to himself as he heard Hades shoot down the stairs. He smoothed out the sleeves of his t-shirt and then descended the stairs himself. He stood in the kitchen, rifling through their cutlery drawer, looking for the meat thermometer. He happened to look up and through the window as Hades jumped up on Jude, too short to reach the ball that Jude was holding.

All thoughts of overcooking the food went out of his mind as he watched Jude, dangling a ball high above his head. Despite how tall Hades was, he still wasn't a big enough dog to get all the way up Jude's body, even though he put in his best efforts, smearing dirt from his paws down Jude's t-shirt. Jude didn't seem to mind, teasing Hades a little bit more before throwing the ball so that it bounced off the fence. Hades bounded around the yard, tripping over himself until he successfully caught the ball in his jaws, bringing it over to Jude to start the game over again.

Connor could have watched them forever. His fiancé and his dog; it was the family that he had created for himself and every day that he got to watch them, he was just overwhelmed with gratitude, because he knew that this life was not supposed to be his. He wasn't supposed to be this happy, and yet, he was. And he knew that he deserved this happiness.

He forced himself to check the meat and then dish up dinner for he and Jude. He let Jude and Hades play for as long as he could, setting the table and dishing up everything before calling them back inside. Hades bolted inside, sitting at his food dish and looking up at Connor. Connor reached for the dog food.

"Jude –"

"I'm changing my shirt," Jude said. "I'm dirty, I know."

"It's just the wrong kind of dirty," Connor muttered.

"Flirting with me, baby?" Jude teased, though Connor hadn't truly meant for Jude to hear the words.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Of course."

Jude grinned and winked at him before he went to grab a clean shirt for dinner. While Hades was eating, Connor sat at the table but he didn't take a bite until Jude was sitting at the table with him.

"Anything else happen at work today?" Connor asked.

"Who cares?" Jude said. "The only thing that mattered to me is that everyone knows I have a fiancé now."

Connor twirled spaghetti around his fork, unable to look at Jude. "I love that you're so excited, Jude"

"Aren't you?"

"You knew this was coming," Connor said. "You knew we were getting engaged. I didn't. I'm still getting used to it. It still doesn't feel real to me, like a dream."

"Yeah, well, I know how long it takes you to adjust to things," Jude teased.

"You still feel like a dream," Connor said. "Like a really good dream but still a dream."

Hades finished with his dinner and crawled under the table, flopping down at their feet with a heavy sigh.

"You deserve this, baby."

"No one in the world deserves you," Connor replied.

"Such a flirt," Jude said. "I love it."

Connor just laughed, Hades shifting so that he was sitting directly on Connor's feet. They talked about little things over dinner and then they did the dishes together, like they did every night. Then, he and Jude tugged on their sneakers while Hades picked up the end of his leash in his mouth, giving it a good tug, trying to get it off the wall. Despite Connor's training, it was the one habit that Connor had never been able to break him of. He clipped the leash to Hades' harness and Jude opened the door. Once the house was securely locked behind them, they started down the street, stopping to let Hades pee in the bushes he always peed in.

Jude took Connor's hand and Connor couldn't keep from smiling.

There was nothing more he could want from life.

 **This story is named after the song** _ **Under The Stars**_ **by Jamestown Story.**

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **More Than This**_ **by Vanessa Careloton. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	2. Easier Tonight

Connor crossed his arms and stared at the wall in his office. His eyes focused and unfocused and then he let out a sigh.

"What do you think, Hades?"

Hades didn't seem to care. Connor was sure that if it was up to Hades, he'd just eat the papers and be done with it and Connor was half-convinced that it would probably be a good idea to just let Hades up and do it … If Jude wouldn't get mad. As mad as Jude got. He'd just roll his eyes and reprint the pages and then Connor would be back here, staring at the wall. He wished that he had job-related things to do but he'd finished his work early and now he had all weekend to stare at his office wall, which was quickly turning into the wedding wall. There were colours, pictures of flowers, the wedding checklist that Jude had found. It was their brainstorm wall with things that they both liked and agreed on going into the wedding binder.

Mostly, though, they were just having fun pinning things to the wall.

Which was why, today, Connor was supposed to be working out a rough budget for Jude to look over when he got home. Not that Connor was getting anywhere with it. Planning a wedding wasn't something that he was _ever_ supposed to be doing. And Jude was so excited for this wedding. Connor didn't want to do anything wrong and he couldn't remember the last time that he'd felt so indecisive about something. How much did Jude care about flowers? Would Jude rather spend more on food? It was going to be a small wedding. What about a venue?

He just didn't have enough information to answer all of the questions that he'd need to in order to plan the wedding properly.

"Hades, what time is it?"

Hades didn't answer him, though Hades never truly did. Connor just found it comforting to speak aloud and have Hades' ear cock, listening to the words, even if he didn't understand all of them. Connor checked the time on his phone instead of waiting for Hades to learn to read and speak.

Jude should be home in less than an hour and Connor hadn't gotten done the things he'd promised. He made a final note and the page that he was using and decided that was going to have to do for now. Jude could look it over when he got home; it was as far as Connor was going to get on his own. He left his office, Hades getting up to follow him into the bedroom. Connor pulled off the t-shirt he'd stolen from Jude and the old jeans he'd been wearing around the house all day, changing into something cleaner and nicer. Friday nights were date nights. He cleaned himself up, let Hades out in the yard for the last time, and was waiting by the front door when Jude pulled in.

Connor hurried out the door, double checking the lock before getting into Jude's car.

"Hey, baby."

Connor kissed his cheek before bowing his head for a moment and resting it against Jude's shoulder.

"Good day?"

"I feel stressed," Connor admitted.

"Why?"

"Wedding budget. Jude, we've been engaged for a week. Are we getting married _this_ September?"

"Do you want to?" Jude asked.

"I don't know."

"Wanna get dessert before dinner this time?"

"Where are we going?" Connor asked. "What desserts do they have?"

"New place, baby. It's Greek."

"I like Greek food."

"I know." Jude kissed the top of his head. "Ready to go?"

Connor nodded, sitting up straight and putting his seatbelt on. He found a radio station while they drove and then he pulled his hands into his lap, looking down at his engagement ring and slowly turning it around his finger. Wedding. In the week that had passed, it seemed that all Jude had thought about was the wedding. Connor didn't know, though, if Jude was thinking too much about the wedding or if Connor wasn't thinking about it enough. Connor had been a boyfriend before. He'd never been a fiancé.

Jude rested his hand on Connor's back as they walked into the restaurant and, like he always did, he drew a sense of comfort from Jude's touch. It didn't matter what was on his mind, Jude was there, and Jude could help him with it. He'd learnt that a long time ago and Jude had never let him down.

Once they were seated, waters and menus in front of them, Jude spoke first.

"I can never remember if I like chickpeas or if I just _think_ I like chickpeas and end up wishing I didn't order them."

"You like them in dishes but not to be _the_ dish," Connor said. "Do we think the lamb here is good?"

"If you don't eat it I will and we can just switch."

Connor laughed, feeling Jude's foot teasing against his ankle.

"Jake called this morning. We're invited over to his and Amy's next Saturday. I think they're doing a whole get together kind of thing, not just us."

"That'll be good, though," Jude said. "They moved too far. We don't get to see them as often."

"It's a three-hour drive. Are you sure you want to do it?"

"I don't mind the drive," Jude promised him. "We should get Jesus to stop in and see Hades, though. You know how Amy feels about him."

"I know," Connor said. It was the biggest thing that frustrated him about Amy. She didn't like Pitbulls; she thought that they were aggressive dog breeds that only criminals wanted to own. Connor and Jake had never convinced her to spend enough time with Hades to show her otherwise, though Jake didn't share the same prejudices and loved to take Hades everywhere whenever the two of them found time to meet up.

"Connor, don't."

"Don't what?"

"I can see you complaining about it in your head. You've tried to change her mind and you won't. It's not fair, I know. But don't stress about it."

"I stress about everything."

"Hi, guys, ready to order?"

Jude and Connor ordered and then Jude turned back to look at him. Connor could sense amusement in Jude's dark brown eyes.

"You don't need to stress about everything," Jude said. "One of these days, you'll calm down."

"There's a wedding wall in my office and we've been engaged a week."

"Because I'm excited and if you're not ready to be as excited as me, that's okay. Connor, you hate surprises, even good surprises."

"Except for –"

"Except for Christmas, I know." Jude smiled at him. "We don't have to get married this September. We can get married next September, or even the one after that."

Connor tapped his fingers on the table and then straightened his cutlery. "How long would you let me go before you got annoyed that we were still engaged?"

Jude pondered the question for a moment, giving it the same consideration that he gave all of Connor's questions. "Six years."

"Six years? Really?" Connor had expected three, perhaps four. Six?

"We've been together for five, so that will double how long we've been together, plus a little wiggle room, but not so long that we've been together fifteen years and aren't married, because at that point, I'd start believing that you didn't want to marry me."

But Connor did. Connor did want to marry him. He wanted every day of his life with Jude, because he was in love with Jude and in love with everything that they had together.

"You know me too well," Connor said. "You'd know if I didn't really want to marry you."

"I know you," Jude agreed. "And, I know you love me."

"And it's not the wondering about whether or not we love each other or we want this, because I'm pretty sure we love each other and we both want this, it's just … This year or next year or the year after …" Connor sighed. "Do we have time to plan a wedding by September? It's July."

"So, we take our time, get married next September. If you want to enjoy being engaged. You're right. There's no rush."

Connor thanked the waitress as their food was put down in front of them. He picked up his fork but he didn't start eating.

"What's the difference between dating and engaged?"

"A ring. Something to plan. A little more commitment. Try the lamb, baby, tell me if you like it."

"Jude," Connor said, frowning. The lamb could wait. "More commitment? What's more commitment mean?"

Jude snorted. "Some things about you will never change, will they?"

"I don't know what you mean by that. I've been committed to you as I possibly can be. I thought you were the same way."

"I have been in love with you since the _second_ I saw you in the lecture hall. I haven't thought of anyone since that moment. You know I'm committed to you," Jude said. "And you know what I think?"

"What?"

"There's no use rushing. We won't have a wedding planned by this September and you need at least a year to realize you don't need to be scared."

"I'm not scared," Connor said defensively. "I haven't been scared of you in … a while."

Jude half-snickered. "It's okay. Eat, baby. I don't want your food to get cold on you."

Connor finally poked his fork through the lamb. "Jude?"

"What?"

"My mom always loved red."

"I want the wedding pictures taken with Callie's camera."

"We can make decisions about some things," Connor said and Jude laughed.

"We'll get there, baby, and next September is a better idea. You know I want to marry you soon but I think we'd both get stressed out if the wedding was that soon."

Connor nodded. Jude got him. Jude understood him. And he couldn't help but smile.

"Ready for dessert?" Jude asked, and Connor laughed.

Jude did really get him.

(-.-)

 **Jesus: Ya. No problem. I'll be there in afternoon.**

 **Jude: Thanks**

Jude locked his phone screen and then plugged it in to charge overnight. He pulled down the bed covers and switched the big light off and turned their lamp on. He took a seat at the end of their bed. All of these years later, Connor still slept with the wall on one side, even though he and Jude usually woke a tangled mess, proving that he wasn't hiding against the wall any more. He finally heard the back door open and close. It was the same routine every night and Jude listened to the click of Hades' claws as he and Connor walked through the bottom level, double checking locks and windows before heading up the stairs to bed.

"All good?" Jude asked as Connor shut the door halfway.

"Yeah. All good."

Connor was smiling as he followed Hades to his bed, checking whether or not his collar was too tight before they both settled in for the night. Satisfied that Hades was okay, Connor crawled to his side of the bed.

"Is Jesus going to be able to come by tomorrow?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, he said it wasn't a problem."

"Good."

Connor reached for Jude, tugging at the back of his shirt.

"Just a second!" Jude laughed. "Let me get the lamp!"

Connor made a small whining noise and gave the back of his shirt one last tug. Jude leant for the lamp and just after the room went dark, his cell phone started ringing. With a sigh, Jude flicked the lamp back on.

"Who's calling?" Connor asked.

"Mariana. Hang on a second." Jude stood from the bed and took his phone from the charger, heading out into the hallway. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what she wanted to talk about. It was late, he knew it was going to be a tense conversation, and he didn't want to upset Connor. "Hello?"

"Were you in bed?" she asked.

"Almost," Jude said, hoping that she'd feel guilty and that it would lead to a short conversation. "What's up?"

He headed downstairs, knowing how his voice would carry in their airy house.

"They moved up the date of her release," Mariana said.

"I know. I saw the article. What do you want me to say?"

"I want to say something." Mariana sighed. "Anything. I've been trying to get you to talk about the fact that Taylor's getting out and you won't say anything!"

"There's nothing to say!"

"Callie's _dead_!" Mariana said, her voice as raw as Stef's had been the night that she had called him home. "She's still dead and her killer is getting out and we have no idea whether she's better or not! What if someone else dies?"

"Taylor's not my problem anymore," Jude said. "She was for a long time and I've finally gotten her out of my head. Callie's dead. Callie will always be dead. But I can't carry her death around with me forever. I have to carry her life."

"So, you're saying you don't care?"

"No. I can't care. I can't let myself care," Jude said. "And, I think you care too much. It's not about Taylor."

"We haven't heard from her since before she went into prison. _I_ never spoke to her. Brandon did, you did, Moms did, but Jesus and I never got to. She was your sister first but she was our sister too."

Jude hung his head and leant on the kitchen counter. "Talk to her, don't talk to her. Care that she's out, don't care that she's out. Whatever you want to do, Mariana, you do, but leave me out of it."

"Jude –"

" _Goodnight_."

He hung up his cell phone, feeling sick of the way that he had spoken to Mariana, but not having it in him to fully regret it. Not tonight, anyway. He'd make nice tomorrow, before she tattled on him to Moms and they'd be forced into a family sit down. He pushed himself off the counter and headed up the stairs, his feet feeling heavy. Connor was sitting up in bed, waiting for him to come back, just like he knew he would. He was such a comforting sight that Jude just crawled into bed, his head in Connor's lap. He didn't bother to turn off the light or do anything else with his phone. Connor stroked his hair.

"What did she want?" Connor asked. "You feel tense."

One of his hands, warm and comforting, slid down his spine.

"Not yet."

"Not yet what?" Connor asked, his hands pausing, as if Jude would ever want him to stop.

"I don't want to talk about it yet."

"Soon?"

Jude nodded, closing his eyes. "But not now."

"It doesn't have to be now," Connor agreed, and his hands went back to comforting Jude. "Are you sure you're okay? We don't have to go to Jake's and Amy's tomorrow if you're not okay."

"No, I want to go," Jude said. "I want to think about it and not brood about it and then we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Connor whispered. "B-b-but you can wake me up if you need me to."

"I just want to stay like this for a little while, okay? Just warm and safe and here."

"Okay."

Connor pulled the blankets around Jude's crooked body as best as he was able and then he lifted his hand from Jude's head, just for a moment. Before Jude could think about what he was doing, Hades had leapt up on the bed, his heated body nestled against Jude's. Jude felt comforted, surrounded. He put one arm around Hades, whose cold nose dented into his cheek.

"Jude?"

"What?"

"I love you."

Connor bent forward, kissing his temple.

"I love you too," Jude whispered, and closed his eyes.

Things would be better in the morning.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **Easier Tonight**_ **by Matt Wertz.** __ **If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	3. Better Together

Jake and Amy now lived in a rented duplex, thee hours away from Jude's and Connor's house. It was in a busy spot, close to a main street, and every time that they approached, Connor found himself thinking that he preferred their residential block – the fact that he couldn't hear cars rushing by all of the time and people had yards and kids and comfort. Jude found a parking spot along the street and then they made their way toward the front door.

"Looks like there's a lot of people here," Jude murmured. "I wonder what's up."

"It's summer. Maybe they just wanted to have a party. Jake's more like that."

"Yeah, I guess," Jude said. "Bet you a make-out session later that there's a reason."

"It's not a bet if we both win," Connor said.

"Maybe it's the best kind of bet," Jude countered, holding the door open for Connor.

Connor shook his head at Jude and headed inside, immediately spotting Amy standing just inside. She grinned when she saw him.

"Connor! Jude! You're here!"

Connor was still a little jealous of how much easier it was for Jude to be around people. Connor knew that he'd calmed down a lot; he knew he was doing better. He just wished that he didn't have to think about it.

"Hi!" he said. "How are you?"

"We're doing great! It's been so long since we've seen you!"

Amy hugged him and he didn't have to think about that. He had gotten used to hugging Amy – used to her thick hair tickling his nose, no matter what type of hairstyle she was wearing. The gold bracelets she always wore clinked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Jake told me about your engagement! Congrats!"

"Thank you," Connor said. "We're still getting used to it."

"You're lucky," Amy said, laughing. "I wish Jake would marry me."

"Just ask him," Jude said. "What's he going to do? Say 'no'?"

Amy snorted. "No _way_. I've been dreaming of the perfect proposal my whole life and I won't have it screwed up because _he's_ stubborn."

"Good luck," Jude said.

"Where is Jake?" Connor asked. "He should know we're here too."

"Oh, um, backyard, still, I think. He's supposed to babysitting the barbeque until Alex gets here, you know he's the one good with the grill."

"We'll go make sure that Jake still has his eyebrows."

Amy laughed. "I'd appreciate that!" Then, a beat later, she was distracted. "Trish! Hi! I'm glad you're here."

Connor continued away from the front door, trying to get out of the way. There were a lot of people in Jake's and Amy's duplex and Connor was beginning to suspect that Jude was right; there was a bigger reason that they'd been invited over today. They walked out into the warm backyard, which had decidedly less people than inside.

"Connor! You made it!"

Connor lifted his arm and waved back.

"Come give me a hand," Jake called. "I've had your BBQ before."

Connor headed over to Jake's side. "You've got to stop flipping them, Jake."

"Same thing I always say but you'll never get him to listen."

"Hey, Alex," Jude said.

Connor stepped away from the grill as Alex approached. Alex liked to barbeque and who was Connor to take that away from him? Besides, it was nice to have homecooked food that wasn't his. Jude would cook on the occasional weekend or they would go to Stef's and Lena's but it wasn't the norm. The norm was his own food.

"Nice ring," Alex drawled, grabbing Connor's hand.

"Oh, hey! I forgot to mention that," Jake said.

Connor wiggled his hand out of Alex's grasp. "Well, it's the first time you've seen us and it's still new news."

He glanced over at Jude. "I'm going to go grab a drink; it's hot. Want anything?"

"Sure," Connor said. "Just water is great –"

"Amy's got punch in the kitchen," Jake said. "The pink one's alcoholic and the orange one isn't."

"Want to try the punch?" Jude asked.

"Sure," Connor said.

Jude was back in a few minutes with the punch and they lingered near Alex, at the barbeque, helping to hand out food. Connor spoke to a few other faces that he'd started to know as they had joined Jake's circle, but he was most comfortable with the people that he knew better. Jake wandered between friends and Amy, playing the good host, which Connor was sure she'd asked him to do. Not that Jake didn't care about his friends, but he was more the 'rifle through cupboards and find what you want' type.

"Do you think Jake's going to propose to Amy?" Alex asked, shutting the top of the barbeque over the burgers.

"Today?" Connor asked. "I don't know."

"He doesn't _seem_ like a guy that's going to propose," Jude mused.

" _You_ didn't," Connor said.

"No, you weren't looking for it," Jude corrected.

Alex laughed. "She wants to get married so badly; she'd be looking for it."

"Jude told her to ask him."

Alex snorted with laughter. "I wouldn't put it past her. You know what Amy's like."

The phrase _force of nature_ jumped to the forefront of Connor's mind. Jude took plates to fill up salads and other things from the kitchen before coming back for their burgers. Connor left Alex at the grill with a couple of Amy's coworkers and then he and Jude retreated to a sunny part of the yard, whereas most people were standing more in the shade.

"I'm pretty sure you were right about this not just being a get together but I don't think it's about a proposal," Connor said.

"Yeah?" Jude said, his mouth half full of burger. "Why not?"

"Amy is too dramatic to want it to happen like this," Connor said. "They've been together for too long; if I know that, Jake _definitely_ knows that."

"Good point," Jude said. "Wait, so what do you think it is, then?"

"I don't know. Maybe one of them got a new job?"

"Moving again?"

"They've moved houses twice since they graduated," Connor mused. "That sounds exhausting."

Jude just laughed at him. "I'm never going to get you to leave the house, am I?"

"Move? No," Connor scoffed. "And our house is perfect."

He glanced at Jude but Jude wasn't even going to fight him. Connor knew that Jude loved their house too; Jude loved their house first, which just seemed to be the way that they did things. He didn't think that Jude would ever want to move, either. It was just large enough, more than comfortable, and they both fit happily into the neighbourhood. Connor hated to gamble with his sense of comfort; he was _happy_.

"Yeah, everything's perfect," Jude agreed. "Okay, so if they're not moving and if they're not getting married, maybe they're –"

"Can we have your attention, please!"

Jude was promptly cut off by Jake and Amy standing up together on the patio, a flood of people coming from the house to hear the announcement. Jude placed his plate down on his chair so he could stand and Connor copied him.

"We have invited you all here so we can tell you all at once," Jake said.

Amy grinned wildly, her bracelets clanking, and that was when Connor noticed the orange punch she was drinking.

"We're pregnant!" Amy cried.

There was a swell of excitement – several people rushed the patio to congratulate them, but Connor just found Jude's hand. They were going to be here for a while yet; they would definitely get to say their congratulations before leaving. He glanced up at Jude, who was looking back at him, but that never surprised him.

"I don't think I would have called that," Jude mused.

Connor shrugged. "Why not?"

"I thought Amy would have wanted to get married first."

"Maybe they will," Connor replied. "There's some time before they have the baby."

"What kind of wedding would a shotgun wedding be?" Jude joked.

"Still a wedding. It's still a wedding if we go to the courthouse and we're the only two there."

Jude wrapped his arm around Connor's shoulders and drew him in. "Don't sound so excited about that."

"We're going to have a wedding," Connor said. "I don't want to try to get out of it."

Jude laughed and kissed his temple. "Good. Let's go see if we can get up to Jake and Amy. We don't want to be the last people to say congratulations."

Connor didn't see why it would matter who said it when; they were all saying the same thing after all. But, Jude tangled his hand around him and tugged him forward.

"We can't forget about the plates," Connor said. "We can't leave a mess."

"We both know we're staying late to help them clean up. You wouldn't sleep tonight if we didn't."

"It's called being a good friend," Connor said.

"Right, that's all it is."

Connor playfully nudged his shoulder against Jude's as they walked up the patio steps.

"When's the baby going to be born?" Eliza, one of Amy's co-workers, asked.

"December," Amy said. "Hopefully before the holiday craziness."

"Nah, if he's born on Christmas, doesn't that mean our baby's Jesus?" Jake joked while Amy swatted his arm.

Connor blinked quickly, trying to pretend that he had gotten over that, trying to pretend like it still didn't dig into his skin.

"Are you trying to imply that this is a virgin birth?" Alex snorted, balancing on the patio railing. "Because I've stayed at your place before and I've got some comments about that."

"Don't you dare or I will push you off," Amy threatened, and Connor started trying to forget that also still bothered him.

Alex just laughed at her; he didn't have any issues with the way Amy was. And Connor tried not to, either. He liked her, overall, but she was so intense that sometimes he couldn't quite figure out how to be around her, no matter how many times Jude would kiss his temple and tell him that he was healed and that he had made so much progress in the time that they had known one another.

"Do you know what you're having yet?" Jude asked.

"I want a girl," Amy said, "but Jake doesn't want to know."

"One head, majority of fingers and toes, that's all I'm asking!"

"You should also ask for human," Jude joked.

Jake shrugged. "I mean, your dog parents and you seem happy. I could be happy with a dog."

"It's our baby, not a dog!" Amy said. "Would you rather have a dog?"

"I didn't say _that_."

This type of arguing, the happy, teasing arguing with the flirtatious edge, Connor had come to find sweet. Jude would do that sometimes too and it had taken Connor too long to realize that it wasn't fighting like he was used to. Had been used to, anyway, before Jude had come into his life. He looked up at his fiancé and there was a thrill in him as he thought the word, the same way that _boyfriend_ thrilled him before. Jude was glancing down at his phone and Connor put his head against Jude's shoulder. He hadn't intended to snoop on Jude's text messaging, but that was what he had ended up doing.

 **Mom L: Mariana's upset. Call me soon, please, I want to talk about it.**

"Is everything okay?" Connor whispered.

Jude quickly shut his phone off and Connor suddenly felt like he was being shut out.

"I don't want to talk about it yet."

"Is it the same thing that you didn't want talk to about last night?" Connor asked.

Jude nodded.

"When we get home?"

"Maybe," Jude said and then he put a smile on his face, one that wasn't quite in his eyes. "Come on, baby, it's a party."

It was a party but that didn't stop Connor from worrying through the rest of it. He followed Jude around like a lost puppy, making sure that he was okay. He put on a good show of it and Connor was sure that he was the only one who could tell that Jude wasn't feeling a hundred percent. There was something weighing on his mind and Connor wished that he knew what it was. He had learnt a long time ago that it was easier to carry a burden between two people than to carry it alone. He was hoping that Jude would tell him once they were in the car. He hoped all through helping Amy and Jake clean up.

And then they were in the car and Jude promptly turned the radio on just loud enough that Connor knew they weren't talking about it yet.

"You can tell me anything, you know," Connor said before they left Jake's and Amy's driveway.

"I know," Jude said, and he smiled a genuine smile. "But you know that sometimes words hurt to say."

Connor nodded. "Sometimes they hurt to keep inside too, though."

"I know."

Jude squeezed his hand before they started driving. Connor sat in the passenger seat, keeping his idle thoughts to himself the entire three-hour drive to their house. He almost said something when, two hours in, Jude's phone rang and he could see Stef's name pop up onto the screen. Jude, though, turned up the radio and just let it ring. He was relieved when they got home.

"Hades is going to have to go out. Do you want to come with us? Just a short walk around the block."

"Yeah, I'd really like that."

They let themselves inside and Hades was on them in an instant, licking at their hands and sniffing at their legs.

"Ready for a walk?" Connor asked and Hades spun around, grabbing his leash. "Harness first."

Then, he and Jude were back outside. The sun was sinking low in the sky but they had more than enough daylight to go on their walk, Hades stopping to pee on their yard before they left the property. Jude sought out Connor's hand, holding it tightly as they walked.

"Taylor's getting out of jail." Jude exhaled loudly after saying it. "Mariana sent me an article about it the night before I proposed to you and then she sent me another article about how her release ended up getting moved up by, like, a month so she'll be out in November. Mariana called me about it last night and we argued. That's why I was in a bad mood."

Connor watched Hades for a second before asking Jude, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"At first, it was because I was proposing to you. I didn't want to think of anything else but that. Then, I realized, I just don't want to think of her. Callie's dead. Callie's always going to be dead. She's never going to see our new house or meet our dog or … When I realized it was the right time to propose, she was still the first person that I wanted to call and tell and she wasn't there to pick up the phone."

They turned the corner again. Halfway home. The sun was behind them now and Jude's face looked heavier.

"Taylor is as dead to me as Callie is. I've made my peace with it, as much as I think I'm ever going to, and anything else is just going to hurt. But Mariana doesn't get that. She's in a different place which is, like … Fine. We're all in a different place about it, I think, but she needs to get that and I don't think she does. If she wants to talk to Taylor, if she wants to be mad about Taylor being out, whatever she wants, she can do, but I _can't_ do it with her."

They turned the last corner and Hades stretched out to the end of his leash, sniffing along the Jones' fence. They had an old Border Collie, who didn't enjoy how energetic Hades was, and, so, Connor called for him to heel.

"Jude –"

"Callie dying, it being Taylor, everything that happened that month, it was the worst time of my life."

Connor kept quiet. He knew that was his fault too. He knew it had taken Jude a long time to stop holding it against Connor that he wasn't there.

"I can't go back there."

Their house came into sight.

"We have a good life, don't we?" Jude asked.

"I like it, anyway," Connor said. "I wouldn't trade it for anything else."

Jude unlocked the front door. Connor paused in the front door to wipe Hades down, watching Jude kick off his shoes and waiting for a reply. Jude took a few steps toward the living room and the leant against the wall, staring upward.

"I …" Jude murmured and then he sighed. "I don't want to go back. I _can't_ go back. I have to keep going forward or I'm going to lose my mind. The whole world went dark after Callie died."

Connor let go of Hades, putting his towel back in its spot. He took his shoes off and put them back in their place and then he reached for Jude.

"I know."

"And, I don't want it to go dark again."

"It won't," Connor promised, though he didn't know if he was in a position to make such a promise. He rested his head down against Jude's chest. "But, you will have to call your Moms back eventually."

"I know," Jude said. "Tomorrow?"

"I know I can't change your mind," Connor teased.

Jude kissed him and Connor gripped the front of his shirt, leaning into him. It was a sweet kiss that made his stomach erupt with butterflies. Jude rested his forehead against Connor's.

"What do you want to do for the rest of the night?"

"Nothing," Connor said firmly and Jude laughed. "People are still tiring."

"I know," Jude said. "I'm still glad that I don't count as people."

Connor laughed again and tugged him into the living room and their comfy couch. He wrapped Jude's arm around his shoulder while Jude reached for the T.V. remote. Hades wandered in, his large duck squeaking in his mouth as he settled under the coffee table.

"Wedding show?" Jude asked. "We can get ideas."

"Okay," Connor agreed, because, at this point, any more ideas would be helpful. There was so much out there that Connor just didn't know what would be best or what would be best for them and what happened if he and Jude didn't agree on what would all go together. He was distracted by his head spin by the bride describing her wedding. "Her budget is _what_?"

"Five hundred thousand," Jude said.

"We need to talk about budget and _this_ is why," Connor said. "Do you want to spend that much on a wedding?"

"Why not? Whatever wedding we want, whatever honeymoon we want. There's no reason why not."

"Uh, credit cards, the mortgage, the amount we get paid –"

"You worry too much, you know that?"

"I've heard," Connor murmured. "But you rarely worry. It's one of the things that I love about you."

"When it's not driving you nuts," Jude teased, nuzzling at him.

"Yeah."

"So, we can spend five thousand dollars on a wedding. You know, if that's what we want. It's just us –"

"Hades," Connor interrupted indignantly and the dog lifted his head, dropping his stuffed duck and perking his ears. "It's okay, boy."

Hades stared at him for a moment before sniffing at his duck again.

"We can do whatever we want."

"What about a safety net? A disaster plan? A disaster can happen to anyone at anytime. What if something happens to the house? What if we can into a car accident? What if Dylan becomes a murdering psycho and we have to go through that again?" Connor snapped and then he felt bad. "Sorry. I didn't mean that about Dylan. He's not a murdering psycho."

"He's an artist trying to get off the ground, he might be a psycho by now."

"Not murdering."

"No, the making art of his own hair and fingernails kind of psycho. Oh, babe, look at that cake!"

"In a bad way?" Connor asked. "Because I'm looking at it in a bad way."

"Me too. I don't think cake should be that colour."

"I don't think _anything_ should be that colour."

"So, not a green wedding cake."

"No," Connor agreed.

"Also, look at this wedding. She and her fiancé made everything themselves. That's impressive. A thousand dollar budget."

"We're not that crafty," Connor said. "And, I'm not saying we shouldn't spend money on ourselves if the wedding is what we want to spend money on. I'm just saying, not all our money."

"I'm not so un-worried that I'd let us go bankrupt on a wedding."

"Not a word."

"Let up for five seconds!"

"Make me!"

Jude tickled his ribs and Connor laughed.

"You know what we have to do?" Connor asked. "For the wedding?"

"What?"

"We have to start training Hades to walk down the aisle."

"He'll get it. He's a smart dog. Aren't you, Hades?"

The duck let out a long squeak as Hades snapped it between his jaws.

"That's a yes," Jude informed Connor.

"I believe you," Connor said.

After all, why wouldn't he believe Jude?

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **Better Together**_ **by Imaginary Future. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	4. Fit Together

Sundays were Connor's favourite day. Jude preferred Saturdays because he knew he still had another day of rest afterward but Connor liked Sundays. Saturday was a day full of doing things and going places and Sunday felt different. Sunday felt like theirs. He woke up and the curtains were billowing with the summer wind, the rays sweeping along the hardwood, and across Hades, who was rolled on his back. Connor squinted at him, making sure that he was breaking. Satisfied that Hades was just fine, Connor settled back against his pillows, turning to face Jude, who hadn't started to stir yet.

Connor was glad he was still asleep. His good mood had faded in and our last night and finally he'd told Stef and Lena he'd call on Monday, when he had more time to think things through. He'd sent that text late, after they'd gone to bed, and he'd been restless as they'd gone to bed themselves.

Like he knew he was being watched, Jude turned onto his stomach, stretching his arms under his pillow. He turned to face Connor and then he stretched opened again.

"Morning," he murmured, not opening his eyes. "Time?"

Connor propped himself up on his elbow, glancing at the alarm clock. "Quarter to ten."

"Good." Jude's eyes fluttered. "I have big plans for today?"

"Like what?" Connor asked, feeling like his Sunday was about to get stolen.

"We're going to make a big breakfast with those hash brown things and then we're going to take Hades to Sunshine Trail."

"His favourite."

"But not until later so it won't be so hot."

"Okay." Connor was starting to feel like his Sunday was starting to come back to him.

"So, in the middle, we'll watch wedding shows and see if we can put more ideas in the book."

Jude snuggled into him, his leg curling over Connor's so that they were nose to nose.

"And when we get home, we're going to take a bath because I don't remember the last time it was a bath and now a shower."

"I love you."

"But we aren't doing any of that until later because we have all day."

All day was such a sweet phrase. Connor kissed the tip of Jude's nose, just because he could and Jude grinned.

"I love your eyes, baby."

It was the first thing Jude had ever said he loved about him, scaring Connor with the word 'love'. Connor wasn't scared anymore but he still thrilled when Jude said it to him. Everything about Jude made his heart double-thump in his chest.

"That's got to go in my vows, somehow," Jude mused.

Connor had been about to go in for a kiss and promptly stopped. "Wait. That means you want us to write our own vows."

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know. I like the thought of traditional vows."

"Why?"

"I just don't think I could express myself like that in front of anyone that wasn't you."

Connor knew he wasn't affection, not like Jude was. He could say 'love' with ease; he could reach for Jude without second guessing if Jude wanted him too; he could clearly be _with_ Jude in public. And, yet, Jude was still the one who gave compliments to him like candy; he was usually the one to snuggle into Connor first; and it was often Jude who took Connor's hand as they walked, like Connor needed the extra reminder that it was okay now.

"Well, that's a decision that doesn't need to be made right away," Jude said. "We'll think about it and talk about it more later."

"Okay," Connor agreed. Even if there wasn't much he could do, thinking about it was always something he could manage.

But he wasn't going to think about it now because, now, Jude had decided to kiss him. Connor pressed Jude into the mattress, goosebumps erupting on his skin from the way Jude's hands were moving from his chest to his waist and then lower. Jude worked Connor's shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. It landed with a very soft thump but Connor heard Hades' tags jingle and his claws tap the floor.

"Jude –"

"I heard him." Jude pushed himself up on his elbows. "Morning, Hades."

"I'll take him out," Connor volunteered.

Jude groaned, dramatically flopping back onto the mattress. "I was liking where this was going."

Connor kissed his forehead. "Don't forget where we were, then. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Connor hated to get out of bed, but he knew he had to.

"But I liked where we were," Jude whined, his hands sliding over Connor's waist.

Connor stood on the chilled floor. He kissed Jude again and repeated, "Then, don't forget."

Jude finally chuckled. "Like I'd forget. You know me better than that."

Connor did and he knew that Jude wouldn't forget. He made himself pick up his shirt. As soon as he did, Jude's pants hit the floor. Connor knew Hades was sniffing around the door but he had to stop and stare at Jude, and the way that Jude's hands were moving against himself beneath the covers.

"I'm going to make sure I'm _all_ ready for you when you get back.""

"Don't finish without me."

"I won't," Jude teased.

Connor turned away from Jude because he knew that Hades was waiting for him and he knew the sooner he left, the sooner he would get back. He shook himself off and opened the back door, letting Hades out into the yard. Even though no on else was out at this time and he was going out passed his doorway, he still felt embarrassed over being near the outside with _that_ image of Jude in his head.

He'd never been more relieved for Hades to come inside and rush to his food bowl. Connor made sure he had everything he needed and then headed back upstairs, shutting their bedroom door behind him. Jude was laying as Connor had left him.

"So, if I remember correctly, you were over here."

Connor crawled into bed again.

"But this wasn't here."

Connor's shirt came off again.

"And, then, I was going to take these off."

Connor was suddenly wearing nothing. He kissed Jude, his hands pushing at the blanket that separated the two of them. Jude sat up, leaning into Connor's touch.

"Lay back, baby," Jude said, pushing at Connor, but just the tiniest bit, not enough to wiggle him, let alone push him over.

Yet, Connor still ended up with his back against the mattress, Jude straddling his hips. Jude bent over him, hands sliding through Connor's hair. Connor teased the back of Jude's thighs.

"We're going to stay like this all day. Change of plans."

"Exactly like this?" Connor asked, moving on hand down Jude's bare chest, coming to rest between Jude's legs.

"Maybe not exactly." Jude laughed and kissed Connor.

"Then, like, what?"

"I think showing will be more fun."

Well, who was Connor to argue with that?

(-.-)

Hades rushed off the trail, barking at a tree. Connor kept an eye on him as they walked as best as he could, the way that the sun's setting rays was trailing across the woods. Jude swung their linked hands, humming softly to himself.

"What are you thinking?" Connor asked.

" _Where_ we should get married," Jude said. "We should book a place, sooner rather than later, especially if there's a certain place that we really want. They book quickly."

"Right," Connor said. "Outside? Inside? When I think about where, I'm not really sure there's a place that really jumps right into my head."

"I think an outside wedding would be pretty and I'm not really worried about weather."

Connor whistled and Hades ran up behind them.

"If we want him to be in the wedding, I'd worry about being outside. He could get distracted and run off. Something could happen to him."

Jude glanced down at Hades. "He has to be there. But, on the other hand, I'd worried about finding a venue that would let him in."

"Which do you think would be worse?"

"Well, one of the wedding party can hold his leash."

"Oh, right, a wedding party."

Jude snorted. "You sound so thrilled. What, did you _forget_ about that part?"

"I forget about a lot of parts," Connor said. "There's just … a lot. How do people do this? All of it."

"They have help. Like the people they're marrying." Jude's hip bumped against Connor's. "And, you know, it's our wedding. We can drop what we want and add what we want. It's ours."

Connor groaned. "Don't _add_ anything."

"People to the wedding party or no?"

"How many?"

"Two each?" Jude suggested. "I'd kind of like Jesus and Brandon to stand with me, since I won't have Callie."

How could Connor say 'no' to that? Besides, two people? He had people in his life now.

"So, Jake and Ali, for me, then," Connor mused. They were the two people that he trusted most, other than Jude.

"See, was that hard?"

"It's just one part," Connor said, sounding more grumpy than he probably intended.

"Think of it all as one part," Jude said. "Just little bits, that's all, and then, all of a sudden, we'll be getting married and somehow it all happened and it's all perfect."

Connor squeezed Jude's hand. It was all so simple when Jude said it and Connor wished that it really was that simple. Or, maybe it was, and he was just overthinking things. He knew that he could do that a lot. He watched Hades padding happily along and, for a moment, he was just wishing for the life of a dog. But, then, he glanced at Jude and he wondered how he could ever wish for anything other than what he had now.

"If we got married inside, _where_ would it be?" Connor asked. "Not a church."

"No," Jude agreed. "We could find somewhere that has, like, a garden or something. Do the ceremony in nature and have the reception be right there."

"Something old, maybe," Connor said. "I don't want it to be somewhere weird."

"So, something traditional but not a church."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Jude was grinning down at him. "We'll find the perfect place, don't you worry."

"Worrying is still what I'm best at," Connor said. "Hades, come here!"

"Case in point." Jude chuckled. "But, come on. We've got time. And we've been talking wedding all day. Let's walk and not worry. Just for a second, baby, try it."

Connor supposed that this was the place where he would be most relaxed – he, Jude, and Hades, mostly alone on a calm wooded trail, the sun making everything gold. He watched Hades' tail wag as he jumped from bush to bush, chasing squirrels and smells and everything in between.

"I'll try it," Connor said. "But only because you asked."

"I love you too," Jude said smugly.

Connor bumped his hip against Jude's and Jude just laughed at him. They continued down the trail and Connor just tried to breathe and forget all of the little things that could overwhelm him. It had been an amazing day and there shouldn't be anything _to_ overwhelm him. He could just breathe. Yet, for some reason, it didn't completely hit him until they had had gotten home and he was wiping the day's dirt from Hades' paws before letting him into the house. That, was when he started to feel peace leaking in.

And, then, he when he was walking upstairs, he heard the sound of water splashing into the tub – their large tub, which was one of Jude's requirements for the house. Connor leant against the doorframes.

"How much bubble bath is too much bubble bath?"

"Come here and smell it," Jude said. "Then, you'll agree there's no such thing as too much bubble bath."

Connor stood behind him, kissing the top of Jude's head before sniffing the bubble bath.

"Okay, you're right. It smells really good."

"Then, let's get in. Get the smell of woods off us."

"We're not sweaty and the woods smell pretty good."

Jude snorted and pulled his shirt over his head. "It's still the woods."

Connor shook his head. "How did you ever go camping more than once?"

"Well, my proposal needed to be amazing so that you'd say yes."

"I love you," Connor said. "That's the reason I said yes."

Jude slipped into the water and Connor wasn't long to follow. He nestled himself between Jude's legs, resting his back against Jude's slimmer chest.

"Yeah, but you've loved me for a long time and, sometimes, things still scared you. You said 'no' to a lot, for a long time."

"I was living with you in under a year. I don't think that's –"

"Right but that's about when you hit your limit," Jude said. "You were like 'I got to this place and now that's enough and we can just stay here and be happy like this forever. Getting you to change is still like pulling teeth."

"It's a good thing you love me then," Connor said.

Jude squeezed Connor's waist.

"I think it is."

"Me too."

Jude kissed his neck and Connor closed his eyes, hearing the swirl of water and then the clink of Hades' claws as he wandered up the stairs.

This was what peace was.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **Fit Together**_ **by Augustana. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	5. You Owe Me Nothing In Return

Connor hated the one day a week he spent in the office. He knew that he shouldn't complain; he knew that if he had to switch with Jude and commute five days a week, then he would absolutely lose his mind. Still, he didn't like it. He didn't like knowing that Hades was home alone. He didn't like that he was stuck in a rotation of meetings and dropping off paperwork and picking up paperwork. It was monotonous. Even though he'd be doing the exact same paperwork if he was at home, sitting in his window seat, it somehow felt better to be doing it there.

His phone chimed on the corner of his desk and he pulled it toward him, reading the text from Jude.

 **Jude: Moms want me to go over for dinner tonight to talk to Mariana.**

Connor squinted at the message, trying to read between the lines but Jude hadn't given him much. Finally, he just had to text back his question.

 **Connor: Do you want me there?**

 **Jude: Yeah!**

 **Jude: When don't I want you around?**

Connor just called Jude. It was easier than talking over text and, Connor had to admit, he didn't like texting as much.

"Hey!" Jude said brightly. "Are you busy?"

"Uh, no."

"Right, you wouldn't call me if you were," Jude said. "I'm not, before you ask. I'm just trying to read through a bunch of boring stuff and I want you to distract me."

"I won't keep you too long."

"See, that's not any fun," Jude said.

"So, you want me to come with you tonight?"

"Yeah. I don't think it'll be a big blowout like on the phone, mostly because Moms will be there but don't want to go alone. Also, I want you to drive so I can stress. Please?"

"Drive?" Connor mused, trying not to sound as unenthusiastic as he felt. There was so little that Jude asked for; he had to get over his hatred of his driving. "Yeah, I guess, okay. Are we bringing Hades?"

"Sure, we can't leave him behind," Jude said.

"Thanks, Jude."

"Thank _you_ , baby," Jude said. "I'll make it up to you."

"It's a drive," Connor said. "Something like that we don't need to make up to each other."

That was something else that Jude had to teach him – that not everything came with a price tag.

"Oh, I know we don't need to, but you should hear how I was planning on making it up to you."

Connor glanced around – not that it was strictly against the rules for him to be talking on his cell phone. He just kept more to himself and he didn't want anyone to overhear his conversation with Jude.

"How was that?" Connor murmured.

"Well, when we got home, after your safe driving," Jude tactfully added, "I was going to strip you the second we got in the front door and then I was going to go down on you –"

"Jude! _We_ are at work."

"I know. I'm alone, are you?" Jude teased. "Because, I was going to make you come at _least_ once that way. Maybe twice. I think that we should make this a long night. The stay-up-late and wake-up-sore type of night. The have-sex-hair-three-showers later night."

" _Jude_ –"

"Because, once we get upstairs and to bed – Oh, crap."

"What?"

"My meeting's starting," Jude said. "So, I'm going to have to go."

"You're walking into a meeting like that?" Connor asked. "I don't know if I can get through the day."

Jude laughed. "I'll show you the rest later, okay?"

"You drive me crazy."

"I love you too."

Jude hung up on him and Connor just shook his head before hanging up his own phone. He turned back to his computer, but the numbers were blurring in front of him. He closed his eyes and all he could think of was Jude, who just managed to _do_ things to him. Connor loved it but, right now, it was leaving him slightly uncomfortable. He still had a few hours left of work to go and the only thing he was going to be thinking about was Jude's phone call.

It was probably what Jude had intended but it didn't help how tight Connor's pants were.

(-.-)

Jude anxiously tapped his hands against his knees.

"It's just Mariana."

"You say that like _just Mariana_ isn't terrifying."

Connor paused. "Well, I mean, she's already yelled at you and she's probably talked to Stef and Lena already. She's probably calmer."

Jude sighed. "I don't know. I just don't understand why she's mad at me for making my own decisions about things. Right now, she's reminding me more of Callie than herself."

"Tell her that," Connor said. "She's not wrong either."

"I thought you were coming to be on my side."

"I'm always on your side but when it comes to fighting with your family you tend to forget that they have sides too and you love them more than anything."

Jude scoffed. "I don't _forget_."

"Would you like me to say 'ignore' because that doesn't sound better."

"Feelin' the love, babe."

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have been honest with you."

Connor stopped the car in Stef's and Lena's driveway, behind Mariana's little hybrid. He turned to look at Jude and Jude stared back at him before sighing.

"It's just that it hurts. Losing Callie and … and losing Taylor, honestly, too, still hurts. And, I can't live through it again. It doesn't really feel like time has healed anything when I think back on it."

"Don't tell me. Tell them." Connor took Jude's hand and squeezed. "I'm here for you but I can't talk for you."

Hades stuck his head into the front seat and let out a whine. Jude scratched his ears and then sighed.

"Okay, I get the message. We have to go in at some point."

Connor kissed him first, though. Jude managed a small smile and he looked less like he was about to walk into his execution. Connor really think that it was going to be as bad as Jude was clearly expecting it to be but when it came to Jude and his family, Connor mostly just stayed out of the way. He wasn't used to having a big family and they cared so much about each other that all they ever seemed to do was fight. Most of it went over Connor's head and he didn't want to make any of them hate him or end up doing something that Jude didn't like.

Jude opened the car door and Hades squeezed out of the back seat and threw himself out the passenger side. Connor slowly got out of the car and he and Jude took a moment, watching Hades sniff around the lawn. They only had that moment, though, because Stef opened her front door and Hades then headed toward her.

"Hey!" she called. "We thought we saw headlights."

"You were watching," Jude muttered under his breath and Connor nudged his shoulder against his. Jude then raised his hand, waving brightly. "Hey, Mom!"

They headed inside, Hades leading the way. It didn't matter how many times they had brought him to Stef's and Lena's house, Hades was never inherently comfortable, another thing that Connor understood about him that he believed not every other owner would. Hades always had to do a walk through of the house, taking stock of new sights and smells and who, exactly, was there. Connor just let him go while Stef led him and Jude into the kitchen.

"Dinner's almost ready," she said. "We were afraid that you were going to miss it."

"Well, Connor and I both worked today so getting organized isn't the easiest thing."

Stef half-turned, raising her eyebrows at him. "Drop the attitude with me, okay? Mama and I haven't done anything but try to help."

"I didn't –" Jude started but stopped just abruptly. "Sorry, Mom."

"You and Mariana are so stubborn." Stef sighed. "But, then again, you're all like that."

It wasn't hard to know who Stef was thinking about when she said that. Connor stayed quiet, thinking that he was going to frustrate one or both of them.

"Come on, let's go sit."

Connor and Jude followed her to the table, where Lena and Mariana had finished laying out food and dishes. Connor had been coming to Stef's and Lena's for long enough that he had a regular seat there, and he and Jude took those, despite the fact that no one else was going to be here. Connor kept looking at Jude but Jude was pointedly not looking at anything but Hades coming back into the room to flop on the floor between them.

"All right," Lena said, "someone has to start."

"I think this is ridiculous," Jude finally said. "Mariana and I are adults and she called you to mediate when the only problem is that she can't respect my decisions."

"Or maybe the issue is that you're being unnecessarily harsh," Mariana snapped back. "I'm trying to talk about it and you're acting like –"

"Like I don't want to? Because I _don't_."

"I just think you should."

"Because that's what you want?" Jude shook his head. "How is that fair? That you get what you want and I have to suck it up and deal with it? Talking about it hurts me, Mariana."

"Well, you avoiding the issue, like you always have, hurts me."

"Mom!" Jude exclaimed and both Stef's and Lena's heads lifted. "I have never avoided the issue."

"Except for when you hid from us for, like, ever –"

"Right after she first died? Are you kidding me? You can't hold that against me."

"All right, this is getting nowhere," Lena said, and Connor was glad that someone else had spoken up. He hated hearing the fighting, even now, and he was trying to keep seated next to Jude like he didn't want to flee the room.

"Well, what else did we expect?" Jude muttered and Connor reached under the table and rested his hand against Jude's thigh. Jude's hand curled over his own, a little too tight but Connor didn't move.

"Jude," Stef prompted, "do you want to say anything first?"

"Remember what you told me in the car," Connor murmured under his breath and Jude sighed.

"If you want to talk to Taylor, I'm not going to stop you, especially if you think it will help you." Jude paused and squeezed Connor's hand. "But it's for _you_ and you need to remember that. I can't go back because that won't help _me._ '

"That sounds reasonable," Stef said.

"People heal differently," Lena added. "That's something we know, Mariana."

"Callie's not going to see you get married, Jude."

"I know," Jude said. "She didn't see me graduate. She didn't see my new house or meet my dog. There's a lot of my life she's missed – a lot of our lives that she's missed. But, we can't change it and we have to make peace with it and do what we can with it."

"Don't you want to make sure that doesn't happen to anyone else?" Mariana asked.

"I don't think that's my responsibility," Jude said. "Why do you think it's yours?"

"Why don't you think it's yours?" Mariana fired back.

Jude scoffed and rolled his eyes; Mariana seemed angrier because of it.

"You can't answer my question with a question."

Stef rubbed her forehead and Connor felt like doing the same.

"All questions will be answered," Stef assured the table. "Mariana, Jude did ask you something first."

"It's our responsibility because we know how this feels. If we can stop someone else from feeling this way, we should. And, I need the peace of mind that Taylor's actually better. Callie died because of her and, next time, it still might be another person from my family. We're magnets for bad luck."

"Jude," Stef prompted.

"See, that's still all about you. And, I stand by what I said: go see her for you but leave me out of it. _I'm_ not going to feel bad or guilty because I'm not the one who put her there or let her out. I have to believe that happened because she's better, at least, in some way. Even if she's not, what am I supposed to do? Drag her to meetings? Follow her around to make sure she's not drinking?" Jude shook his head. "I couldn't help her when she was my best friend and I'm not going to force my way into helping her now! She has parents to be there for her; I don't have to be."

"What about being there for _me_?!" Mariana cried. "What if _I_ need you for this?"

"You can't have me. I'm sorry, but I'm not strong enough," Jude said. "I _can't."_

"Of course not," Mariana muttered and pushed herself away from the table. "I'm sorry, Moms."

She stalked off toward the front door, Lena immediately following. Stef told Connor and Jude to stay put before leaving the table too. As soon as Jude and Connor were alone, Jude groaned loudly, hiding his face in his hands.

"I just don't understand what's going on! Right after Callie died, it was just a terrible accident and to hell with Taylor and then we only talked about Callie and not what happened and I don't understand where all of this is coming from now! We can't change anything!"

It was all more that Connor wished that Jude had said directly to Mariana but he knew there was so little that he could actually do now that things had escalated. Connor didn't know what to do – he knew he couldn't _say_ anything helpful – so he just wrapped his arms tightly around Jude. Jude leant into him.

The front door slammed loudly. Connor jumped and Jude just groaned again.

"Exit Mariana," he said bitterly.

It wasn't long before Stef and Lena rejoined the table. Jude straightened up when they did, looking very much like a child expecting a scolding.

"We'll let her cool off," Lena said.

"Okay," Jude agreed. "But, unless she changed her mind, we're not going to get anywhere."

"She just needs to feel supported," Stef replied.

"I said I support her! I just can't be a direct part of it!"

"We know, love. Let's just take a breath." Stef looked at Jude and attempted a smile. "Eat something, love, you'll feel better."

"I'm not really hungry," Jude said, but he stuck his fork in his mashed potatoes anyway.

"So," Lena said, "how's everything else? How's the wedding planning?"

"We're still trying to figure out indoor versus outdoor," Connor said, knowing that Jude wouldn't. "It's hard to really make any decisions without knowing that."

Connor took over the talking as Jude picked his way through dinner. They stayed on easier topics, like the wedding and work, staying away from any mention of Taylor and Jude's siblings. Jude seemed relieved when they finally left, keeping quiet on the car ride home. Connor let him have his space, though he hated the brooding look on Jude's face and he desperately wished there was something else that he could be doing.

It wasn't until they were home that Jude spoke again.

"It feels like midnight."

"It's almost ten," Connor said, though he was sure that Jude knew that. "Want to go to bed? Are you tired?"

"I don't know."

"Hot chocolate?" Connor asked, even though the night was as warm as they day had been. Hot chocolate was always a good place to start with Jude.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, babe."

Jude kissed his cheek and then stumbled toward the living room. As if he knew Jude was the one who needed him, Hades padded after Jude rather than following Connor to the kitchen, as was his habit. It didn't take Connor long to prepare two mugs of hot chocolate – one with extra whipped cream, just the way that Jude liked it. He took them to the living room, squeezing onto the couch, as Hades took up a large chunk of it.

Jude took his mug, staring down at it. "Do you think I'm wrong about any of it? Honestly."

"No, you know that."

Jude sniffed. "I hate Mariana for reminding me of everything Callie's not here for. Does she honestly think that I don't think about all that stuff all the time? The first time we walked into this house, I wondered what Callie would think about it and it hit me all over again that I'll never know. Does that still happen with your mom?"

Connor nodded. "Time makes that worse, I think. I've had pretty much as much time without her as with her and that drives me crazy. And, ever since I met you, I keep thinking of what she'd say about you and what she'd really think. I like to believe I know but I don't know. Not really." Jude's head rested heavily against Connor's shoulder. "Sorry, that probably doesn't help."

"It does. You do. I just hate dredging up all the bad stuff again. I don't want that."

"You'll be okay," Connor promised. "Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold."

"Love you too," Jude said, sounding more amused than anything.

He took a sip of his chocolate, turning on the TV, and they settled into their night together.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **You Owe Me Nothing In Return**_ **by Alanis Morisette. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	6. Take Over

They spent the next night looking at wedding venues and not talking about Mariana. Jude kept ignoring messages from Stef and Lena about the issue and Connor didn't say a word about it. Well, and Jude wasn't proud of it, but he had gotten cranky quickly the one time Connor had tried, and he'd watched Connor retreat. He'd felt bad about it, wrapping his arms around Connor until he could see in Connor's eyes that he was forgiven.

"I'm leaning toward an outdoor venue," Jude said finally. "There's more of them that I like."

"I'm going to worry about the weather."

"You're going to worry about everything anyway," Jude said, kissing Connor's cheek to avoid the look that Connor was sure to give him. "Look at this place, okay? We can do inside and outside … So, have the ceremony outside and do the reception inside and then, if it rains, we already have somewhere to go."

"Well, then, let's go see this one in person," Connor suggested. "We can't know for sure by just seeing it online."

"That's how I picked the house," Jude said.

"We did go _see_ the house before we bought it."

Jude shrugged. " _You_ wanted to. I would have just moved in."

"You drive me crazy," Connor said with a sigh, but with a tone that just made Jude feel loved.

"Okay, there's a spot online to book."

Jude's phone lit up.

"I'll do it. You answer that."

Jude checked the caller I.D. before he committed to that. It was Jesus. He was sure that he knew _why_ his brother was calling but he also knew that he should, at the very least, answer the call and have a reason to get mad at Jesus before ignoring him off the bat.

"I'll just be a sec." He pushed himself off the couch and went to hide in the kitchen. "Hi, Jesus."

"Hey, what are you doing Sunday night?"

"Um," Jude mused, scrambling for something that he could be plausibly doing on a Sunday night. "Connor and I always have a date night on the weekend. We don't know what are plans are for that yet."

"Right, right. Well, Brandon and I were thinking that we should try and have a brothers night since, you know, we haven't done that in a really long time."

"Have we _ever_ done that?" Jude asked, leaning against his kitchen counter. Hades followed him in and started begging at the back door, so, Jude let him out, standing out on their back deck to keep an eye on him. "Jesus, was this you and Brandon or was this a Moms idea?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does. Look, Mariana and I will make up. Eventually. We'll figure it out. But Moms can't keep dragging other people into this because other people are just going to make it worse. And, I'm not budging yet and she's not budging yet and …" Jude sighed. "I'm not beating this to death. I'm not."

"You want to hang out with us anyway? Just to save me from a night alone with Brandon?"

"Uh, maybe," Jude said. "Text me with details later and then I'll make up my mind."

"Feelin' the love," Jesus joked. "Yeah, okay, I'll talk to you later."

Jude hung up the phone and called Hades back inside.

"All good?" Connor called before Jude was even properly back in the living room.

"Brandon and Jesus want to go out on Sunday but I told them that we might have our date night then."

"Our date night is Friday night," Connor said, "and, even if it wasn't, I'm not letting you say no for that reason."

Jude made a face. "Can't you give me a reason to not go?"

"No," Connor replied. "I get bad family situations and bad family arguments. I know, Jude, with how Dad and I were, but you and your family are all so close. Just because you're fighting with Mariana doesn't mean that you can ignore Jesus."

"I don't like it when you're right," Jude said.

"I know."

Connor hit confirm on the laptop screen for their venue viewing appointment next weekend and then turned around to face Jude. He slid Jude's feet into his lap, running his hands along the length of Jude's legs. Jude relaxed into his touch, watching Connor's face. He had such an expectant expression on and Jude knew what he was waiting for.

"Okay, I'll go. An hour, even if it's bad," Jude promised.

"It'll be good, you'll see."

"I won't."

"You're stubborn," Connor said. "Um, Ali and Miranda want to do something next weekend. What do you think about that?"

" _That_ , I think, is a good idea," Jude said. "BBQ? We're going to run out of real summer sooner rather than later."

"I'll text Ali later." Connor smiled at him. "Stop pouting."

"I'm not pouting," Jude protested. "Babe, I'm not."

Connor didn't look like he believed him but Jude just didn't have it in him to argue it. Connor knew him better than anyone else. Instead, he just curled up against Connor, hiding his face against Connor's chest so that Connor couldn't be judging his expression anymore.

"So, what time next Saturday?"

"Ten," Connor replied. "I thought if we really like it and we think it's the place, then we should see it sooner rather than later and we can get it for the date that we want it next year."

"Um …" Jude said, propping himself up a little as he realized something. "Connor?"

"Hmm?"

"We haven't actually picked a _day_ to get married."

"Oh, right."

"We'll see what days they have open in September and see if we like any of those."

Connor kissed the top of his head.

"Let's keep looking," Jude suggested. "Just in case."

"You know how I like back-up plans," Connor said and he pulled the laptop closer so they could both see it.

They were getting married. This was a time where Jude was supposed to be nothing but happy and he wasn't going to let anything interfere with that.

(-.-)

Brothers night consisted of pizza and beer at Jess's apartment, the three of them intermittently changing the TV channel whenever one of them got bored. Jude hadn't had an alcoholic drink since watching Taylor's downward spiral but he couldn't blame Brandon and Jesus for enjoying theirs, particularly since Jesus was going off about his relationship woes. Brandon, who had, so far, been chronically single the past few years, looked almost more amused than Jude did, with his long-standing, stable relationship.

"How hard is it to say 'yes' or 'no'?" Brandon asked.

"You've met the woman," Jesus said. "And, I don't know if I want to say 'yes' or 'no'. Moving in together is a big step."

"Connor and I did it after less than a year of dating."

Jesus tipped the neck of his beer bottle toward Jude. "I've reason to declare you both insane."

"Or just sure," Jude replied, trying not get defensive.

He had no reason to be defensive and he knew that. Jude also knew that if anyone said he and Connor had moved too fast, then they'd be right. From the outside looking in, the two of them probably seemed like they were suffering from Young, Dumb, and In Love syndrome. Even Connor had felt it, pulling back when all Jude had wanted to do was move forward. It would be impossible to explain to someone who wasn't there just how intense those moments had been and how much every second of being with Connor had felt like the greatest gift Jude could have received. It had been frustrating, and it had been messy, and Jude wouldn't change it for anything, not if it meant risking the now, where he had his confident fiancé and his happy dog and his dream-come-true white picket fence. Jude could want for nothing more.

"We've been dating for two years," Jesus said. "If I don't know whether or not she should move in when her lease is up, does that mean I should just break up with her?"

"You've been together two years," Jude said. "That means something. Do you want to break up with her?"

"No but I don't know if I want to live with her."

"Then stay together without living together. Time lines don't mean anything."

"Oh, says the first one getting married. It doesn't matter to you because you're done," Jesus said.

"Don't say 'done' like that," Jude said. "It's not like I'm done. I just decided I'd rather have him be my lifelong problem than the dating pool."

"Oh, so, he's a problem," Jesus said.

"Not what I said. But, nothing's perfect and I'm not perfect and I'd rather have his imperfections that someone else's."

"That's poetic," Brandon said, though it felt condescending, like most of what Brandon said.

"And none of it solves my problem."

"Well, Mariana broke up with Ashton because he was getting too serious," Brandon said. "Are you going to scare Carrie off?"

"She asked to me in with _me_."

"Is she scaring you away?" Jude asked.

"No?" Jesus said, squinting down at the remains of his pizza crust like it might have answers to his dilemma. "I'm not scared. I'm just not ready. Is that different? I think it's different."

"No," Brandon said, while Jude said "Yes."

"It's his own feelings!" Jude said. "You can't tell him what he feels!"

"Being not ready for something means you're scared. It's not a bad thing. It's just what it is."

"Who died and made you a relationship expert?" Jude demanded.

"Guys, I'm an adult, and –"

Brandon peeled the label off his beer bottle, obnoxiously cutting through Jesus's sentence. "I've been drinking and we don't want to get into it but you know who died. And, according to Moms and Mariana, you won't talk about it with anyone because your feels are more important than theirs."

Jude was sure that wasn't exactly what his parents had said. Jude was equally sure that it didn't matter to him right now. _He_ hadn't been drinking and, so, he stood up and went to put his shoes on. Through his roaring anger, he was only dimly aware of Jesus's exclamation.

"Brandon, what's wrong with you?! That's not how Moms said to talk to him."

Jude slammed Jesus' apartment door shut behind him. He was part of the way down the stairwell when Jesus caught him.

"Brandon's being a dick."

"Yeah."

Jude just focused on putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to explode. He could feel the beginning of a break down curling inside of him and he knew it was going to happen.

"I'll kick him out. You don't have to go."

"So that you can lecture me too?" Jude snapped. "No, thanks."

"Moms, just –"

"You're twins. I've seen it work. You're going to back her up."

He was finally into the parking lot but the balmy night air did nothing to soothe him.

"Jude?"

"Brothers night was a crappy idea."

Jude unlocked his car and practically threw himself into the driver's seat. Jesus called out to him again but Jude just jammed his key into the ignition. He started the car and drove off , leaving Jesus standing there. He barely got two streets away from he had to stop and pull over, letting out a primal scream that tore his throat.

He felt alone. So alone, with nothing but that darkness pressing into him. He felt betrayal anew and there was no one to turn to anymore. His family had all sided against him – and why wouldn't they? They had all been finally first and the only reason they had even thought about him was because of Callie. Without her, there was no need for him.

He didn't remember the drive home. It seemed like he had gotten there in the barest blink of an eye. He stumbled through his front door, hearing Connor's voice echoing through the bottom floor of the house, but not directed at him.

"No, I think it's a great idea, Dad. And you know how much Rachel likes animals. Hold on a second. I think I heard something."

Jude kicked his shoes off, letting them fall sideways against some of the other sneakers, even though he knew Connor hated it.

"Jude, is that you?"

Hades was staring at Jude suspiciously too.

"Jude?

"Yeah."

"I didn't expect you home so early."

"Well, here I am."

Connor had made him go out with Jesus and Brandon. They could have been eating tacos and walking on the bleach but no. Jude had to go and get berated by more of his siblings.

"I'm going to bed."

"Oh, well, let me hang up with Dad and –"

"Talk as long as you want. Do what you want. I'm going to bed."

Jude turned up the stairs, listening as Connor returned to his conversation. Jude left the lights on as he went and the bedroom door opened. He undressed in a near frenzy before yanking his pyjamas on and then throwing himself down on the neatly made covers. He drew his knees up, the edges of his pyjama pants tickled his calves and he listened. He listened to Connor on the phone and he listened to Hades following Connor around. Despite what he had said and how he had said it, Jude had been hoping that they would be here anyway. He didn't want to be alone but he just didn't have it in him to go downstairs and tell Connor that.

Tears trickled down Jude's cheeks and the loneliness threatened to choke him from the inside out and, it seemed, the night would not end.

Until he fell asleep alone.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **Take Over**_ **by Tom Rosenthal. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	7. Sunlight

Connor watched Jude backing out of their driveway, the day stunningly bright. He sipped at the last of his coffee, though it was getting cold and it was really just making him feel worse. Not even Hades' gently nudging could make him feel any better and his dog always lifted his spirits. It was the best thing about owning a dog; they were always so comforting. Or usually, that was.

"I have a feeling we did something wrong, Hades."

Hades tilted his head at the sound of Connor's voice, his ears perking up. Connor rubbed his head, feeling slightly guilty about telling Hades he'd done something wrong when it couldn't possibly be true. But, the fact remained that Connor had probably done something wrong, even though he didn't know what it could possibly be.

Connor would like to blame it on the fact that Jude was fighting with his family – and Jude always took that roughly – but Connor knew Jude well enough and he strongly doubted that his family was the whole story. With the many conflicting personalities in the Adams-Foster clan, Connor had seen their spats before and Jude had always leant on him for comfort.

Except for last night.

Jude had come home, angry, quiet, overly sullen. He'd gone to bed, snapping at Connor as he went/ Connor hadn't wanted to push Jude and make it worse; he'd thought that Jude had needed some time alone and then they could talk about it. He'd hoped Jude would still be up when Connor went to be himself, but he hadn't been, and, so Connor had started hoping for this morning over breakfast, but Jude hadn't spoken to him, except for short, terse words, and Connor was lost.

Either last night had gone worse than Connor could imagine or he had done something to upset Jude. Jude hadn't even kissed him goodbye on his way out the door. Jude always kissed him goodbye, even when he was running late. Connor's morning just felt too incompletely without the goodbye kiss.

"Come on, Hades."

Hades dutifully followed him into the kitchen to heat up his coffee and then up to his office where he had to work today. But, before starting anything, Connor put his phone on the side of his desk, hoping Jude would text him.

(-.-)

 **Jesus: I think you're overreacting**

 **Jesus: I know Brandon was an ass**

 **Mom S: I just talked to Brandon. Call me.**

 **Mom L: Please, call us. We don't want you to feel alone and we want to try to reach a happy medium for everyone**

 **Mom L: We can figure something out.**

 **Jesus: And Mariana's being an ass but you're being an ass too right now.**

 **Mariana: Really? Pulling this with Brandon too? Stop acting like you're twelve again, Jude! You're an adult and you're not even trying to understand other people!**

 **Mom L: You're probably at work now so I'll let you get on with your day. Please, call us later. We love you.**

Jude swiped all the messages from his family off his phone and turned back to his computer screen but the statistics that he could normally make sense of just seemed to dance around. His brain felt stuck and even though he had to finish a marketing report for a client, he couldn't stop thinking about his family, and he just felt angry when he did.

 _He_ was the child?

His e-mail pined and Jude was relieved that it was a work email and not his family trying to berate him in a while new way. He skimmed the e-mail from his boss but it was nothing more than arranging meetings with clients over the next few weeks. He was disappointed that it wasn't more; he wasn't sure why. He wasn't that focused on his job today. Maybe he wanted something outside of his day to day to distract him. He didn't want to think of his home or his family; his heart hurt too much over it and he knew he was too sore to keep being rational.

He forced himself to settle into his work routine, cringing every time his phone buzzed. Luckily, it wasn't very often but the fact that Mariana messaged him twice more about his silence and Jesus was grabbing for his attention every other hour truly did put a damper on his already bad day. Of course, Connor didn't text him and the fact that it bothered him also bothered him. Jude knew what Connor was like; he knew Connor retreated at the first sign of conflict, even when the conflict didn't directly involve him. So, it didn't surprise Jude that Connor had sensed something was wrong and had kept to himself today but Jude just wished, for once, that Connor would just know.

Jude took a deep breath and glanced at the clock. Six after five. He could leave now.

He quickly packed his bag, fishing out his car keys and his phone. He snuck out without the usual carousel of goodbyes coming from the other cubicles around him. The entire universe seemed to sense that he was in a bad mood today. He got down to the parking garage, got into the driver's side of the car, and just … sat there. He still clutched his keys in his hand, his phone in the other, and he just stayed there, staring at the grey wall. He just felt too numb and too unsettled to start the car. Nothing in his day had seemed to go right and he just didn't want to go home and have things get worse. He was worried Connor was going to be too hurt by what he'd done and freeze him out. Which was exactly what Jude had done to him last night and this morning so he really _shouldn't_ get upset about it.

Jude dropped his keys into the cupholder. Home was the only place that he could go and, even more, it was the only place that he wanted to be.

He unlocked his phone, calling Connor, but it rang and rang before going to voicemail. Jude's heart sank but he knew Connor really wasn't the type to be flat out ignoring him so he left a message.

"Hey, it's me. I'm just leaving work and I was kind of a jerk this morning. I know that. I also just wanted to say I missed you today. That's all. I'll see you soon, okay? Love you."

He hung up the phone and finally started heading toward home, feeling much better about it. Connor was his safe place, Jude's favourite part of any day, and he didn't deserve to ever feel like less than that. Which, Jude admitted, he found hard to remember in the heat of the moment. He and Callie had the same temper and it had gotten the two of them in trouble often.

His heart started to hurt, in ways that it hadn't in a long time when he thought about his sister. He knew that saying he was fine with all that had happened to her would always be a lie but he'd thought he'd made some kind of peace with it. He resented Mariana for making him question that, especially since she was the one who'd given him the assurance and guidance he needed in the time after Callie's death. It felt like a betrayed that she was the one bringing all this back.

Despite his gloom, he felt better when he could see his house, basked in remaining sunlight, which made it look particularly welcoming. He parked in the garage and opened the door, hearing Connor's music filling the house. Connor couldn't be _too_ upset, then. He tended to keep the house quiet when he was. Hades heard him come in and barrelled toward him, sniffing his legs intently as Jude followed the music into the kitchen. Connor was standing at the counter, his back to Jude, fixated on icing a cake that Jude instinctively knew was his favourite flavour.

Jude padded across the floor and wrapped his arms around Connor's waist. Connor jumped before relaxing into Jude's touch. Jude rested his head against Connor's shoulder.

"I called earlier. You didn't answer."

"Sorry! I thought I was listening! I guess I got wrapped up in this. What did you call about?"

Connor's hands covered Jude's, drawing Jude's arms closer around him.

"That I missed you today. That I'm sorry for being rude to you this morning. You're not the reason I was in a bad mood and you shouldn't be the one I take it out on."

He kissed the side of Connor's neck.

"I know. It's a lot. And I wanted you to have something to be happy about when you got home so I baked. And I wanted something else to think about. I really felt bad that you didn't kiss me this morning. I felt like I did something wrong and I don't think I did … Did I?"

Jude closed his eyes and deliberated for a moment before saying, "No, baby, you didn't. it was all me."

"How was your day?" Connor asked.

"Lousy. I just wanted to turn my phone off and have a quiet night with you."

"The problems will still be there when you turn your phone back on."

"I know. But, even if I _was_ going to change my mind, I wouldn't do it with all this hounding and talking I need space to think – or not think – about it."

"I understand," Connor murmured.

"And, sad day rules," Jude decided, swiping his finger along the edge of the frosting bowl and licking the icing off his finger.

"Jude! Don't stick your fingers in the bowl!"

"Why?" Jude asked. "It's just us eating it."

"You've got work hands."

"I'm not playing in the dirty! It's marketing!"

Connor shook his head. "Go change out of your work clothes."

"Yes, baby."

"And I'll finish this."

Jude kissed Connor's cheek and then got out of Connor's hair. He knew what Connor was like when he was focusing on something. It didn't take him long to change and he definitely felt freer than he had all day. His phone buzzed and Jude let out an audible groan before seeing the spam e-mail. He turned his phone off after that, leaving it sitting on top of the dresser for a good measure.

He was at the bottom of the stairs when Connor called to him from the living room.

"I have a special dessert for you."

"What is it?" Jude asked, though it took very few steps for him to actually get there himself. "Oh! What _is_ that?"

"A cake sundae."

Jude climbed over the back of the couch, barely taking the time to settle in next to Connor before he picked up both bowls, handing one off to Connor. The cake sundae also had sprinkles on top of the Neapolitan ice-cream and Jude laughed.

"A cake sundae for supper? This is every five-year-old's biggest fantasy."

Connor shrugged. "I figured a little something extra to cheer you up wasn't a bad thing. And you really like your sugar, Jude."

Jude nodded, his spoon already in his mouth. His voice distorted around the utensil, Jude said, "I love you."

Connor smiled at him, the expression in his eyes giving away endearing and amusing he was finding Jude.

"I love you too."

Hades nosed around the couch, his head getting dangerously close to the rim of Jude's bowls. Jude wasn't surprised that he was going after Jude's treats, rather than Connor's. Connor definitely babied him more but Connor was also the one who had done the majority of his training. Jude definitely thought that Hades had more respecting for Connor.

Which was proved when, after Jude repeatedly pushing his nose away, all Connor had to do was say, "Hades, no begging," and then Hades retreated to his spot under the coffee table that he always took up when he couldn't squeeze onto the couch around Jude and Connor.

"Does this help your lousy day?" Connor asked.

"It does, baby. It was the perfect thing for it."

Connor half-smiled at him, his toe nudging Jude's. "You kept your back to me all night last night too."

"Not tonight," Jude promised. "Definitely not tonight."

"If I forgive you for sticking your finger in my frosting," Connor teased and Jude laughed.

"I think you will."

"I probably will," Connor agreed, but his smile was more than enough to give him away.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **Sunlight**_ **by Imaginary Future. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


	8. You And Me

They were up early on Saturday morning, much to Connor's annoyance. Jude was amused at how hard he was trying to hide the fact that he was annoyed, knowing how badly Jude liked this wedding venue. Connor just hated having his 'sleep in Saturdays' be interrupted. They were out the door on time, leaving behind a cranky Hades who wanted to know why he wasn't allowed to go. As if Jude and Connor could have explained it to him.

But Hades' presence at the venue, Jude mused, would be the breaking point of the place. Both he and Connor were set on having Hades be part of the wedding. There had been nothing on the venue's webpage about whether or not they were pet friendly and Jude crossed his fingers about it on the drive over.

They arrived at the venue just before ten and there was a woman waiting on the stone steps to greet them. She introduced herself as Allison, shaking their hands. She had on bright red heels that matched her blouse and a smooth black pencil skirt.

"So, let's take a tour, shall we?" she flashed a bright smile, her one crooked tooth contrasting sharply with the rest of her immaculate appearance. "Do we want to start inside or outside?"

"Um, outside," Connor said. "We were thinking we'd have the ceremony out there and have the reception indoors."

"That sounds amazing!" she said, and Jude liked her pep.

She chattered about the history of the building as they walked out back – it was thirty years old and built by her parents. Apparently, their goal had been to make it look like a 'modern castle'.

"It was always meant to be an event space. They wanted something romantic that wasn't a church."

"We loved the online photos," Jude admitted.

"So, here we are," Allison said. "Take a wander around1"

As he and Connor walked around the spacious garden, lined with an assortment of trees and flowers that were in bright bloom, Allison explained some of the previous wedding arrangement. Arches and seating and decorations for the trees. All things that Jude hadn't thought of yet. He and Connor had plenty of ideas but nothing set in stone and that was why, when he pictured his wedding day right now, all he could visualize was Connor's face.

He and Connor finished circling the spacious lawn, reaching under a leafy tree that provided a welcome shady spot.

"What do you think?"

"It's definitely beautiful," Connor said, casting another look around. "Let's see the inside."

"Okay, okay, don't show any excitement," Jude teased.

"I'm also thinking that it might be too big for the wedding size that we were thinking of."

"Better than too small," Jude said, lilting his tone so Connor caught his innuendo.

Connor just shook his head at Jude, a hint of a smile on his lips. "Come on, let's see the inside."

Allison happily led them through the doors, once again talking about how different set ups would flow in the cavernous space.

"As you can see, it's easily decorated to personal tastes. And, we do have an on-site kitchen, for your caterers or we can provide them as well."

"Are you pet friendly?" Jude asked, knowing he shouldn't fall in love as he wanted to before getting the answer to that question.

Allison paused. "Well … depends on what you were planning."

"We have a dog. He's three, very well-trained. We're set on having him be a part of the ceremony," Jude explained.

"Just one?"

Jude nodded and Allison was back to smiling.

"We'd need an additional pet deposit – just in case – but one dog won't be an issue."

Jude glanced at Connor excitedly and Connor nodded.

"Can we see your dates for next September?" Jude asked.

"Sure! It's filling up fast, I have to warn you."

She probably would have warned him about it even if it wasn't true but Jude felt like she was right to say it.

They followed her to the front entrance, stopping by a small table so that Allison could pull her tablet out of her purse. A couple of taps to the screen and then she turned the tablet toward them.

"All of the white days are still open, any of the green ones already have event books.

The first Saturday in September was the only weekend date that was still open. He felt Connor's hand gently touch his elbow and, for a second, Jude was concerned that Connor was telling him to stop and slow down – that they shouldn't commit to the venue today.

"We'll take the first Saturday," Connor said.

Jude grinned wildly, reaching up to take Connor's hand.

"Perfect! So, we just need a deposit today in order to hold your spot and then we can work out a payment plan for the subsequent amount. If you'd like any of our other services, like our caterers, we expect a minimum of three months notice. More, if you can get it."

Jude glanced at Connor and thought of his planning skills.

"Not a problem," Jude said. "I'm sure we'll be able to give you plenty of notice."

Their cheque handed over, their day secured, Jude and Connor shook Allison's hand and headed back to the car. Jude didn't start it immediately, instead, he turned to face Connor.

"First house we looked at, first wedding venue … How do you do that?"

"Also, the first ring I looked at," Jude said, nodding at Connor's hand. "Though, you're not my first boyfriend."

Connor angled himself toward Jude, sliding his fingers through Jude's. "I've some of your firsts."

"I knew it was you, though, from the very beginning."

"No, you didn't. You're just being sappy," Connor accused. "I knew there was something special about you, from the very first class. I couldn't stop thinking about you. There had to be a reason why."

"You thought I was hot," Connor said, his tone flat.

"Someday, baby, you'll have to get over that."

Jude leant over the console and kissed Connor's cheek, lingering in Connor's space.

"Why?" Connor asked, shifting so their lips were closer. "You kiss me every time I bring it up."

Jude pressed his lips to Connor's, stretching across the seats. He thought about trying to maneuver his long body so that he was in Connor's lap – car sex _was_ something they'd never done – but Allison was still inside and it would be a sure fire way to get kicked off the property.

Jude ended the kiss so he wouldn't lose himself in it. "For the record, you're still hot."

"It only matters that you think so."

Jude kissed him quickly and started the car.

"We should tell people to save the date, now that we have it," Connor said. "And tell the wedding party that they are the wedding party."

"I just always assumed …" Jude started and then stopped as his thoughts got too far away from him.

"Assumed what?"

"Daria always talked about getting married. She and Taylor _loved_ all of those wedding shows and I always ended up watching them too. They talked for days about big puffy dresses and guest counts in the hundreds. Taylor said that Daria and I would have to fight over who got her as maid of honour and I always thought that there was no reason why we couldn't both have her." Jude swallowed, trying to break up the emotion building in his chest. "And Callie was supposed to be here for stuff like this. She was supposed to have the biggest part in it. And then she died and, when it comes to how I feel about her, Taylor died with her and all that went away. When I was ring shopping, I called Adam but Jesus was the one who came with me and it made me thinking about how different this wedding was going to be from the way that I'd thought it was going to go."

"What did you start picturing?" Connor asked.

"I started thinking that the two people I was sure were going to be there on my wedding day weren't going to be but Callie gave me this family and that it only made it right for Jesus and Brandon to be the ones standing with me and now I don't even want to send them a save the date text." Jude tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, feeling disgusting over the whole situation.

"You won't be angry by the time we get to the wedding date. I really believe that you'll have talked through everything by then and that if they're not in the wedding party, you're going to regret it."

"Yeah, probably," Jude said. "But, we have enough time that I don't have to get over it now."

"Even if we didn't, no one could make you before you were ready."

"True," Jude agreed. "I think you know me too well, Connor Stevens."

Jude glanced over at Connor, who suddenly looked nervous. He was quiet when he replied, "Well, enough to know you're not going to want to change your name when we get married," as if it were a risky thing to say.

"I hadn't really thought about it," Jude admitted, "but, you're right. I want to keep my name. Why? Do you want me to change it?"

Connor shook his head, hiding his face behind his shaggy hair. "Actually, Jude, that's the thing … I want to change mine."

"Really?" Jude asked and then he realized how his tone could be read and he backtracked. "I like the idea, baby, I didn't mean to sound so surprised. I just couldn't think of a reason you'd want to change your name. And, the three names together are just long."

"I didn't mean to hyphenate ours," Connor said. "Jude, your last name means a connection with your family and about knowing who you are. My last name reminds me of that scared, closeted kid who was trapped in an awful relationship. Being with you allowed me to feel confident and that gave me the freedom to know me. If I had never met you, I wouldn't be half the person I am today and I'd always be missing all of the ways you've touched my life. For the first time, with you, I was unashamed of who I was and I know what love and a good life and what a good man is because of you. I love you and marrying you is going to be the proudest moment of my life. I want everyone to know that we're one. A team. That's what your last name means to me."

"And you said you couldn't write your own vows."

"I just couldn't say that in front of anyone else," Connor said with a frown. "You've always said I'm not the romantic one."

"Normally you're not," Jude said, his mind replaying Connor's words, trying desperately to memorizing them.

"So," Connor said, his voice small, "is it okay with you if I take your last name?"

Jude pulled into their garage and turned the car off. He and Connor face each other over the console once again and Jude tried to remember the last time he'd seen Connor look so nervous about something. He reached out and cleared the hair out of Connor's face and then he cupped Connor's jaw in his hand. Connor rested his cheek heavily against Jude's palm and met Jude's eyes.

"I would love it, baby."

"Yeah?"

Jude nodded, feeling a well of emotion and he blinked rapidly. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I didn't think you'd say I shouldn't, if I wanted to. I was worried that, because you weren't changing yours, you wouldn't see how much it mattered. And, I really need it to mean as much as you as it does to me, because this means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to me," Jude promised.

Connor smiled, his eyes lighting up and Jude just couldn't resist the urge to kiss him. Connor kissed him back and then smiled at him.

"Come on, Hades is going to have to go out."

"Okay."

They were out of the car and into the house when Connor added, "and you should text your moms about the date, even if you don't want to text your siblings."

Jude groaned. "Yeah, okay …"

He did as Connor suggested and then joined his fiancé out on the back deck, watching Hades roam around.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I want to talk to Mariana about all of this. About the wedding and the planning. She's so good at this stuff and I'd love her help."

"Text her too."

"No," Jude said. "She'd probably just get mad and think that I was trying to ignore all of the other issues and that will just make me all over again and …"

Jude just sighed loudly, hanging his head.

"Think about it, anyway."

"Yeah, maybe," Jude said, even though he knew how it was going to play out and he definitely wasn't going to text her first.

Connor took a seat in one of the sun-soaked lawn chairs and Jude flopped down into Connor's lap. They had a wedding venue and a wedding and he and his husband were going to have the same last name. It was only the good things that he should spend his day thinking about.

Hades dropped a dirty tennis ball at their feet and Jude grabbed it, tossing it so that it hit the fence, and Hades bounced off after it.

He was going to spend his day thinking about the best things.

 **The chapter's title is after the song** _ **You And Me**_ **by You+Me. If you have a song that reminds you of** _ **Under The Stars**_ **and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)**

 **So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Under The Stars, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash under dash the dash stars dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.**

 **~TLL~**


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